Toothpick in the liver.

My friend from college used to say that line whenever something depressing or something painful happens.

I saw her today.

Ack!

I'm sad. :-(

My crushie didn't text me today. :-( When we said our good nights last night, he said he will text me today but he hasn't. :-( I'm thinking if I should text him... but as much as possible, I don't want to...

Waaaaaah! Why hasn't he texted? :-(

Sheesh.

My mind is all messed up. I dunno if I'm ready for Friday's Oktoberfest Closing Party. It seems like I'm not as organized as I used to be from the previous legs. Argh. I wonder...

Ooohhhh... Kap will be performing on Friday at Megamall! Kewl! Hehe. I got his band as front act. Can't wait to see him. It's been ages!

Anyhoo----I inquired how much an I-Book is from Senco (where I got my I-Pod)... Ms Glo said it's 74,000. What the?!?!!? Seventy-friggin' grand?!!?!?!? Jeez. I guess I'll have to settle with using Drewy's mac for the meantime to upload my songs. I have around 450 songs pa lang. Super konti. Hehe. I haven't even used up 2 gigs. Gawd! I wonder when I can fill it up? Haha. It seems like all the songs I like are in it already!

Oh well...

It's almost midnight and I haven't eaten dinner. Martin went to Mini-stop to buy some food and drinks. He's been gone for almost an hour and still hasn't returned. Apparently, he bumped into J.B. and is relishing the time with him. Hmph. I'm starving to death and he's out there flirting with his crush. Some friend. Grrrrr.

Tomorrow will be another busy day for me. There's the S Magazine anniversary and Glocky's rehearsal with Elements for Oktoberfest. I so want October to end. I'm uber-tired!!!

So there. Till next.

I wonder what my crushie is doing... :-(

I miss my crushie... :(

Hehe

I have a new toy!!!

I'm so happy. :) I got myself an I-Pod. Yey! I have been obsessing on this for a couple of months now and finally I have one! Woo hoo!

I've loaded around 250 songs pa lang but there've been no repeats as of this afternoon. Haha. Astig! Next in line... a laptop! Haha. That will take me ages to buy, I think. The one I like costs like a hundred grand. Eeeep.

Anyways, I just came from the rehearsal with Glocky and Pure Instinct for Friday's Rap/R&B Night of the Oktoberfest. Astig! Glocky rocks! Haha. I AM A FAN!!! Hehehe. Pure Instinct rocked too. Glocky's songs are hard to play coz of their speed and all but they hacked it. Can't wait for Friday. I'm sure it will be a blast. ;-)

I have like a thousand things to do and I don't know which one to do first. Argh! I'm so confused. ::::sigh:::: I wish there were more hours in a day so I can do them all.

Update on my crushie>>>>errrr... nothing really. Haha. We still talk a lot but I haven't seen him for ages. Oh yeah... I saw him a while ago but it went like a blur so I didn't quite notice it. Hehe. The other day I was kinda pissed at him. No let me rephrase that... not really pissed. More like tampo. He was sort of masungit kse and it felt weird. You know me, I'm a paranoid android (like Drew!) and even though whatever it was that was making him masungit wasn't about me, it felt like it was. Did that make sense? Hehe. Oh well, whatever.

I love my I-Pod. I love my I-Pod. :-)

I'm royally pissed. (Pun intended. Oooohhh... so intended!)

Okay... so a little woodpecker whispered in my ear that monster-bot is going around spreading damaging rumors about me. It's quite disturbing, really. I never imagined he would go to that extent. It's such a desperate act. I dunno what he hopes to achieve. It's not as if I have a career to protect. It's not as if I have a reputation to live by. My life is an open book. What you see is what you get. So what gives?

It just pisses me off to realize how much time and effort I wasted on someone who doesn't deserve such treatment. Heck, I considered him a friend once. Even if we had a falling out, I never spoke to anyone about anything that we talked about or anything that transpired. Sure, I may have commented on some things, but it wasn't as if it's not common knowledge anyways. The other stuff I kept confidential. Because I still maintained that level of respect for him as a person. And this is what I get?

They say there's a reason for everything. I believe in that. But I dunno. No matter how hard I try, I cannot understand what this experience is trying to tell me...

Trust no one? Maybe. Mulder and Scully couldn't have said it any better.

Anyways... it's not worth my wrinkles. I will not stoop down to his level. This has got to be the end of it.

::::::::::::::::creep:::::::::::::::::



Oh well... I just finished that April Boy write up. Finally! LOL. I'm now listening to Glocky's album. It's been looping for like three hours now. Haha. In fairness to Glocky, his album rocks! Haha. I listened to it seriously just now. I am really a fan. Hehehe.

Anyhoo---I'm losing grasp of my AMP. I dunno. It's weird. One minute I'm so into him and the next I'm like so not into him. Haha. Weird.

It's Oktoberfest again on Friday. Acoustic night this time. I figure I'd be bored out of my wits with this one, considering how fun last Friday was. Let's see. Hehe. Manna booked Pure Instinct in Laguna for an Oktoberfest thing also and I found out that 6CM will be there too. Awww. Sayang. If not for this Oktoberfest thing here in Manila, I'd so want to go there. Mahal ko na si Darwin e. Haha. And a road trip is something I need right now, I think.

Oh well... I'll be flying to Bacolod on Sunday for the Masskara Festival. Flying alone, that is. Gina got me a ticket on a separate airline and I'd be by my lonesome. Sad. :-( Well, whatever. It'd be (as Joji would say) an experience.

That's it for now, I think. My back hurts like hell and my brain is shutting itself down on its own. My eyes are aching na din (hell, I was awake since 4 am this morning!).

Tomorrow is another day.

Crap.

I am writing April Boy's article for tomorrow's presscon and I'm lost. I cannot think. I am so uninspired. I don't know crap about him. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I have been at this since this morning and I haven't even reached half the page yet. Double-spaced with 1.25 margin pa to!!! Waaaaaahhhhh!!!

Oh jeez.

Today is one of the most harassing days of my life!

Argh!

I didn't get any sleep last night trying to figure out how I can squeeze Glocky in for the Rap/R&B event of the Oktoberfest. Considering I had a massage last night, I was still so stressed out!

This morning I woke up at 4am. Holy cow! LOL. I tried sleeping again and woke up again at 7am. Hallellujah! Hehe. My alarm was supposed to go off at 830am. I tried to sleep again till my alarm goes off but I couldn't. So I stood up, took a bath, loafed around and finally dressed up. At 930am, I was already here at Star. Everybody was surprised. Hehe.

While I was in the cab, I was typing my Erik Santos and Sandara PRs on my mobile phone so when I got here, I just retyped it in Word. (My office PC is so jurassic it doesn't have IR. Jeez.). Then I proceeded to run around like a mad cow trying to fix my April Boy presscon tomorrow. Haller!!! I don't have a cheque for the "happiness". And I don't have CD stocks! Goodness! Good luck to me.

It's not even 12 noon and I'm so tired already. I have a meeting at 2pm in Eastwood and a radio thing with Freeverse at 4pm. KILL ME NOW!

I need another massage.

I saw my crushie today!

La lang. :)

Woo hoo!

The Alternative Night of Oktoberfest was a blast! I saw all my good friends who I haven't seen for a really looooonnnnnggggg time. There's Diego (Sandwich), Raims (Sandwich), Mike D (Sandwich), Myrene (Sandwich) and Marc (Sandwich) -- oohh la la! hahahaha, Chito (Freeway Jam), Nikki (Freeway Jam) and Nathan (Bamboo).

Plus, I saw all the other people I used to work with -- Sammy (RM of Sugarfree), Jason (of Twisted Halo), Pancho (manager of Bamboo) and yeah, of course Bamboo himself. Hehe.

I missed them. Grabe! I have been away from the eksena for such a long time! I miss the pit! LOL.

I met a couple of nice new people too... those guys from 6CM rock! I knew Chuck from way back though we never had the chance to get close. Hehe. Their vocalist (eep... I forgot his name) is really nice too. And he's cute ha? Haha. Too short lang. I think I'm taller pa than him. Or maybe we're of the same height?

Of course, the ultimate crush of my life Ira was there too! Grabeeeee!!! I've been crushing on this guy since I was 12 or 13. He was still with Introvoys then. I have a copy of his La Salle yearbook. LOL! Stalker ba? Hehe.

Anyways, it turned out okay even with Aegis. In fairness to the band, the audience's reception to them wasn't quite what I expected. Jologs kse e. Haha.

And I was so at home with this leg. No ngarag at all. The most ngarag moments were when this jolog ran and kissed Marc -- the jolog was a guy take note! (kaines!), when this other jolog was harassing Raims, and when Nathan ushered in like a battalion of their "believers" into the dressing room. Haha.

It was super duper fun!

Oh right...my lovescope for today reads:






Don't give up, eh?

Hehe. Yeah right.

I dunno. When I was talking to Addict-Looking Mr. Perfect a while back, I was trying to sense if there was something there. I couldn't read him. I actually don't know for sure. Even without the knowledge that he has a girlfriend, I still don't know. It's so hard to read him. Maybe I'll never know for sure. I dunno.

Oh by the way, I have an update about "Monster-bot". Apparently, he's going around telling people that I fell in love with him. What the hell?!?!?!!? Kapal kapal kapal! I'll kick his arse when I see him.

So there.

Wish me luck tomorrow. I think I need to wear protective gear.

I will really never get over this Aegis thing. Tsk, tsk.

AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

Can I just gripe?

Tomorrow is the Alternative Leg of the Oktoberfest. Of all the sustaining events, I have been looking forward to this because I AM THE TARGET MARKET of this show. I am actually more excited with this leg than with the Opening and Closing events. I live for alternative music. This is my life. Rock, baby, rock!

Here's the line-up: Protein Shake, Freeway Jam, Sugarfree, Squeezers, 6 Cycle Mind, Sandwich, Bamboo and Aegis. Wait... what did I just say? Aegis? Yes, you read it right. Errrr.... What the fuck?!?!!?!?

OH MY GAWD!

That's all I can say. It's a mandate from the heavens. And there's nothing I can do about it. I said my piece and they won't listen. I told them that I fear for Aegis' safety. I'm sure they will earn the ire of the people. I'm quite sure that projectiles will fly tomorrow night (read: mineral water bottles with pee in it).

It's Alternative Night for heaven's sake! 80% of the attendees tomorrow will surely be from the SRB (read: Stone. Rock. Bato.) crowd. I'm sure that Addicts Anonymous will all be present tomorrow. I pity Aegis. And I pity myself. I will not be able to walk with pride tomorrow, knowing that people will all be thinking: Do you know what Alternative means? I just hope that when the irate people start throwing God(dess)-knows-what to Aegis, I will not be in the line of fire. I will make sure I'm not present to get hit.

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!

I cannot get over it.

Anyways, looking at the bright side, I spoke to my crushie today. :-) La lang. I know I said I should stop this illusion of romance but I cannot help feel elated everytime I talk to him. Hehe. My day would have been perfect, if not for that Aegis thing.

I really cannot get over it.

When i was in college, I watched Pinoy Woodstock in Payanig sa Pasig grounds with Kap and friends. It was a fun event. I was the only girl in the group and all my guy friends were very protective. Hehe. I felt like a damsel in distress with knights in shining armour all around me. but I digress...

After Image was there. They were onto their third song when Wency shouted a profanity and picked someone out of the crowd and cursed him like anything. Apparently, he got hit by an ice cube. A little while later, I saw mineral water bottles flying through the air. Rogie Callejo (their drummer) got hit by a projectile. I think it was a one peso coin. How do I know this? Because I met Rogie a few years later and we talked about it. That was After Image. It's true that they somehow sold out. For the rock world, they are just one sellout band, who went too mainstream in order to gain popularity. But puhleeaazzzee... I have more respect for After Image than Aegis. And I'm sure many rock purists do too. Heck, Francis Reyes of The Dawn came from After Image. Chuck Isidro of 6 Cycle Mind was from After Image. After Image na yan, nabato pa. What more Aegis?!?!?!?!

I can imagine Marc Abaya asking me tomorrow: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING, JAMIE?

I will never get over this.

i am so stupid...

it's true what they say that what you don't know won't hurt you.

i was doing fine... well not really fine because i'm sick. i should have just stayed home. but no! i just had to investigate. so here i am in my sister's house, with a throbbing head and feeling sorry for myself.

i'm a stupid git!

Just finished chatting with my good friend James. I used to like him y'know... well I still do... but what I meant was I used to, you know, LIKE him. Now we're just good friends. And I think it's better that way. We're more comfortable with each other and we can talk about stuff without inhibitions.

Anyhoo---I sorta told him the story of my AMP. He said that if I'm "wishing" for him and his significant other to break up, I should stop because it's no use. The mere fact that they have been together for over a year despite the great distance means that it must be something serious.

::::::::sob::::::::

That's what friends do, I think. They make you realize things you wouldn't normally realize by yourself. We normally hear the phrase the truth hurts. Well, it does. But there's nothing we, or should I say I, can do about it... but accept it.

Ho-hum...

Thus, is the story of my life.

Aaaarrrgggghhhhh!

I am, indeed, such a wuss.

***Mental note to self: STOP MESSING AROUND AND GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER! ***

grrrrrr.

this day sucks more than anything.

hate it. hate it.

Something you might have wanted to keep between yourself and a few trusted friends could inadvertently be revealed today, perhaps to the wrong people. Frustration and a sense of betrayal could plague you for most of the day, jamie. However, don't turn against those who knew. Even though this experience can be disconcerting, you can learn from it. Remember Benjamin Franklin's dictum: "Two people can keep a secret only when one of them is dead."

---> my horoscope for the day. Uh-oh...

i'm bored.

i actually have a lot to do but i don't feel like doing them. for some reason, i have been feeling restless for the past errr, three days. this is a bad sign. i think. hehe.

have you ever had one of those days when you just feel like lying on your bed, curtains drawn, blanket over your head... and you don't want to talk to people? that's how today is for me. i dunno. i woke up feeling cheerful and all but after having my coffee fix for the day, i suddenly felt pissed off. erm, no... not really pissed off. that's too strong a word. i can't explain it. i just don't feel like moving. i don't feel like doing anything. i don't feel like interacting with people -- save for some... like, manna, nixon, gina, drew...

it's weird. coffee usually perks me up.

i think it must be the mints. haha.

i am so not in the mood for anything.

i think whatever it is that's ailing me is contagious. haha. gina just swept in the room feeling pissed. wahahaha. oh well. must be in the stars (mental note to self: check out horoscope in a while).

i wonder what addict-looking mr. perfect is doing now? hmmmm...

Yey!

I survived the Oktoberfest!!!

Errr... the opening, that is. There are four more events to go. ::::::sigh:::::: Good luck sakin. Hehehe.

Anyhoo---I almost had another asthma attack just now. I was seriously hyperventilating a while back. No, not because of fatigue. But because of none other than the ultimate battle-planner herself!!! --- MANNA! Hahahahaha. As usual, she made me laugh like there was no tomorrow. Thing is... it was about some incriminating stuff that would have killed me if she didn't take pity on me and took it back. I'd rather not make kwento about the details here... Manna took it back na nga e. I might incriminate myself again if I write about it. Hehe.

So there.

I have an early day tomorrow. I have a 9am meeting for Oktoberfest Alternative Night. So i guess I better go... till next! Ta ta! :)