boo hoo.

i slipped.

and i can literally feel myself being sucked back into the habit. bleh.

the first time, i did it because i was disappointed and mighty pissed. it didn't calm my nerves, though, as it was supposed to do. and this fragile thing i was trying to "repair" just snapped again and i'm back to where i started... so i ended up hating myself more afterwards.

the second time, i did it because it just felt right.

the third time, i did it because i ate too much and i felt like i needed it.

the fourth time, i did it because i was bored.



i am beginning to question myself now if i really am capable of quitting... but hey, that was a month! that accounts for something right?



ack.

i think i'm back.

tch.